What If?: Toxic
by Darling Pretty
Summary: First in my new little semiseries, What If? What if when Addison exposed herself to the neurotoxin in great expectations, alex was the one to catch her when she ran out of the OR? ADDEX


**so i was watching "great expectations" and i thought "what if alex caught addison?" and this fic was born. i'm thinking of doing some more what if? one shots, and will do so if inspiration strikes.**

**-insert disclaimer here-**

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Derek, Alex, and Addison stand watching the girl from outside the operating room. Her blood is a neurotoxin, as proved by George, the Chief, and all the others in the operating room, and she's open on the table. The only way Addison figures it can get any worse is if there was a bomb waiting to explode somewhere in the hospital. Wouldn't be the first time.

Addison glances over to the two men on either side of her. Her ex-husband and her intern. The guy she had been staring at, because she had been staring when Callie had given her the lecture about the lines of deliciousness. But it's not like he hadn't been staring back.

She stares at the girl, trying to come up with a solution. She is a fixer, it's what she does. She hates feeling helpless.

Did she just see her eye twitch? She watches in horror as the girl's body starts to wake up and process the fact that she has a tube jammed down her throat. Someone has to do something and fast.

On impulse, she pulls on a mask, takes a deep breath, and runs into the room. "Addison, get out of there!" Alex yells into the microphone.

"She's waking up, Alex, she's waking up and I can't find the anesthesia chart and I need to know how much she weighs!" she yells back, fumbling for the anesthesia.

Alex hesitates for a moment, as if not telling her would get her out quicker. Then he realizes she won't leave until she puts the girl out or goes out herself. "Estimate, about 60 kilos," he says.

"It's okay," she tells the girl as she doses her, "It's okay."

By now she's starting to feel dizzy. She runs out of the room, running into things, unable to stay in a straight line. The last thing she remembers is the door sliding open and Alex catching her as she falls, saying, "I've got you, shh, I've got you."

------

She wakes up in the clinic, a mask over her face. She tries to sit up, but a wave of nausea tells her to lie down and curl up, so she does. The movement alerts Alex, who is sitting in a rolling chair beside her bed. "Hey, you're awake," he says, pushing a piece of her hair away from her face.

"Yeah."

"You scared me- us."

"Us?"

"Me and Callie and Mark and Derek. And Meredith and Izzie and George, a little too."

"I did not," she protests.

"Yeah, you did. Believe it or not, those people care about you."

"Meredith Grey and Izzie Stevens do not care about me," Addison says. "And neither do you." The words are out before she can think about them and now they hang in the air.

They sit in awkward silence for God knows how long. Finally Alex can speak. "I do," he says. "Care about you I mean."

"Right, um, thanks," Addison replies.

"So that thing you did, that was pretty cool."

"Or stupid."

"Yeah, it was. Stupid, I mean. Don't do it again."

"Why not?"

"Because you put yourself in danger and I-" he starts, but catches himself before he can finish his sentence.

"You what, Karev?"

"I- I have to go."

------

Addison continues to lie in her bed in the clinic, inhaling oxygen. She sees Callie approach. "Finally!" Callie exclaims the second she reaches Addison's bedside. Addison cocks her head to the side, a nonverbal "want to explain yourself?". "Karev would not leave until you woke up. You've done quite the number on that boy."

Addison removes the mask from her face. "What are you talking about? I've done nothing to "that boy". In fact, he probably hates me."

"You say that now, but you didn't see his face while he was waiting."

"Please. He's not interested."

"And you know that for a fact," Callie says.

"I do. He told me so."

"Yeah, because you can totally trust whatever comes out of his mouth."

"He sounded quite sure of himself."

"Well, he was lying. I'd stake my marriage on it."

"I really am happy for you, by the way," Addison tells her. "I hope that came across earlier."

"Yeah, it did. And you were staring, just so you know."

"I was not. And like I said, he's the help, and I will not be sleeping with the help," Addison denies. She sits up and grabs her tank of oxygen. "I am going to go now and you are not going to bring up Alex Karev again, okay? He is officially off limits." Callie raises an eyebrow. "I meant as a topic!" Addison exclaims as she realizes it sounds like he was off limits to other women.

"I'm sure you did."

"Leaving now."

-------

Once she's off the oxygen, she visits the NICU to check on a patient. Lorena Wellington was born prematurely and her lungs aren't functioning properly yet, but there's still hope. Lorena's a fighter. She's surprised to find Alex already there. "Oh," she states. "Hey."

He looks up. "Hey."

Even though she knows she shouldn't, she approaches the incubator and stands next to him. "How's she doing?"

"Medically, we still can't tell if she'll make it, but personally? I think she will."

"I hope so."

They stand silently next to each other, staring at the infant. "You know," Alex says after a while. "She reminds me of you." Addison turns to look at him. "She's a fighter too. And look at her jaw. It's set. She's going to be completely stubborn. Maybe a little pig headed," he continues, and looks up to smile at her. "but only when it's important for her to be. Only when she needs to be. She's strong, too, judging from her grip. She'll make it through life fine, I think. She just needs to be given the chance."

Addison's silent for a moment. "You were going to say something, back in the clinic, but you never finished," she says.

"It was nothing."

"No, come on, tell me," she wheedles and laughs quietly.

"I just… I don't… Just don't put yourself in danger like that, okay? I don't want to see you get hurt." She refrains from telling him that he's too late with that warning, that he's already hurt her. "Promise me you won't put yourself in that kind of danger okay?"

"Why? Why do you care so much?"

"Promise me."

"Why?" she asks stubbornly.

"Just promise me." He's starting to sound annoyed.

"Why?" she asks again.

"Damn it, Addison! Because I care, okay?" he explodes. "I don't want you hurt because I care! I care about you, and I want to be able to get up in the morning and not have to worry that you're going to expose yourself to some neurotoxin or operate on a guy with a bomb in his stomach. I don't want you in danger because every time you are, then I worry! And I hate worrying about you. Because I want you safe! I want you safe and here with me, okay? So just promise me, so I can stop worrying about you!"

Addison stares at him. "Okay," she says quietly. "If it's that important to you, then I promise."

"It is that important to me," he says and raises a hand to her cheek. "I thought that I'd stop feeling guilty after I yelled at you. I thought that I could just forget about it. But, damn it, Addison, I can't get you out of my mind. I keep seeing your face in the supply closet and that kiss at Joe's. And I feel so horrible about it all. And then today, you ran into that OR and all I could think about was getting you out and safe with me. And the second I knew you were safe, I was so proud of you. But then I watched you sleep and I started to think, what if you had been exposed for too long? What if you had died, thinking that I hate you? What if I never got the chance to tell you how I felt? I can't stand the idea."

"Alex," Addison starts, but he cuts her off.

"No, you kissed me. You kissed me and then you freaked out and treated me like a mistake. And you started to avoid me, and I was stuck with Sloan and I got annoyed and angry. So angry that I yelled at you, instead of doing what I actually wanted to do."

Addison swallows. "And what was that?"

"I really wanted to kiss you again and show you that it wasn't a mistake, that _we _aren't a mistake."

Addison's mouth goes dry. "I'm still waiting for proof of that, Karev," she manages. He leans in and kisses her softly.

"Proof enough?"

She nods happily. "Proof enough."

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**reviews?**

**-Juli**


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